Wasted
Angel
Broken

Wasted

Just a little cautionary note: This poem may be TRIGGERY for some. Keep yourself safe and please don't read it if you think it'll badly affect you. Take Care, xxx R

wasted years too many tears bad loving
i do not cannot will not
love myself
i will self-destroy
slit wrists inhale thought-blocking gases
fantasize upon the subject
of my own death get
rat-arsed play my CDs
do shit jobs to keep them
off my back
wasted years too many tears bad loving

Paula Puddephatt

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Angel

See me through the pain, my guardian angel,
although I feel that I must surely die of shame.
See me through the dark night,
and don't blame me,
if I don't feel even remotely human
overnight.

Paula Puddephatt
First published on Mental Health in the UK site, 2002

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Broken

When I close my eyes I can still see you
The bad part of me, which is the truth others never see.
So cruel when you enter my mind, never leaving -
until you have won, and the damage is done.

I hate myself for being weak.
You love yourself for being strong.
Why is it that whatever you do is right? -
But whatever I do is wrong?

When you are alive all I feel is fear.
I know no bounds, and feel no pain.
I open my eyes, and I think you've gone.
Then I close them, and you're back again.

By Katherine Quilty © 2003