Not Now - Not Ever
But it's there.
It's calling - my pain screaming to be released.
Friends who forget,
Strangers who couldn't care less.
Less friends - more strangers.
Strangers who wouldn't care before.
Wouldn't think twice after the funeral.
Not Now - Not Ever
Please just a little?
Life running down my arm.
Stronger than my fear.
Better?
Not Now - Not Ever
But why the hell not?
As my skin parts,
And my blood spiders to the floor,
I AM HAPPY!
Or at least secure.
Safe.
Nothing can touch me in my painful ecstasy.
Might my pain push me too far?
An eternal shadow cast over my soul?
Could it possibly be worse than the fight?
They all say so, but not for love.
For fear of their own thoughts.
For fear of their own lives.
Out of ignorant, inane, indefensible stupidity.
Else there would be no words.
Only touch.
Love.
Not Now - Not Ever
But it's been so long
So lonely
Without my warm red friend
Not Now - Not Ever
Why do I even fight?
For love.
Not theirs but mine.
I can never stop loving.
I will never stop loving.
Not Now - Not Ever
Just a small one?
NO!
YES!
maybe.
Not Now - Not Ever
Forever.
Ken Meyer
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Too Much To Try
Just a little cautionary note: This poem may be
TRIGGERY for some. Keep yourself safe
and please don't read it if you think it'll badly affect you. If
you need help or support, please see the resources section or contact
The Samaritans.
Take Care, xxx R
Memories hurt more then pain,
Clouds my thinking, I feel insane,
I feel so insecure,
So sore,
I don't think I can trust anymore!
Because no one has ever shown their love for me,
People prefer to stay away, so the hurt eyes do not see.
They're all slowly backing off,
Leaving me defenceless and weak.
But it's not my fault these things play and play,
Through my mind everyday,
Blocking me from caring about the people around
But I feel bound,
Bound in my own head,
Feeling tied up, better then dead.
It doesn't matter nobody cares about the way I feel,
These wounds inside will never heal.
There's only love could make that so,
But who would love me? No one would stoop that low.
Still, would it hurt to try from someone to give that chance?
Because if it doesn't happen soon, I'll slowly be falling to my
own death,
And right now nothing much of me is left.
Just numbness and the uncontrollable thoughts of suicide,
Wouldn't the world be happier if I just died?
That's the way I see it right now, my only option,
I could be away from earth, no relation,
Which means no more living just for the sake of having too,
And no more upset for the things I do.
Jodie |
