Demons

Please let me sit in the darkness. I want to be here now. Can’t you understand that? It’s the only way I can deal with my demons. They can feast on me as much as they wish I don’t care anymore. I’ve been through to much to care. So please let me lay alone in the dark. Let me deal with this in my own way. Please let this re-written story have an original ending. At least give me that. If you know how I feel then you’ll understand why I have to do this, why it has to be like this. Please let me find my own comforts. Whether it’s in the shadows or in the light. I know I can beat this just as long as I can do so in my own way and in my own time. I’ve been dealing with this for years by myself, why does it have to change now? Until now I’ve found my own comforts to lay in. Now people are willing to take them away from me without thinking about whether I need them or not. So please let me console myself in the shadows. This is a war that I’m fighting, not you. I’ll let you know when the war is over. This war has lasted longer than WW1 and WW2 put together and I’m still here. Doesn’t that tell you something? It tells me that I’m strong enough to fight the war. I am my own army for which I am the General. I make the decisions. Just like in any other war there have been battles in which I’ve lost but there’s always been enough strength left to fight the next. So I ask you to let me sit in the darkness, to let me fight the war in the only way I know how…….by myself.

Ginger