Peanut Butter And Jam

I want to live

The words stick in my mouth
Taste weird
Like peanut butter with salad cream
Or cheese sandwiches
that have been left too long in the fridge
I almost choke

I want to die

Sugary sweet, like vanilla fudge
Or icing sugar with strawberry jam
A quick fix
With a bitter aftertaste
I can feel it rotting my teeth
I spit it out, afraid

Lost to indecision, I consider my choices
roll the syllables over my tongue
try and see which taste fits
which I can bear

Peanut butter with jam?
maybe the salad cream will come later

Rachel Studley © 2004