Hurts

All I see in life is darkness and hatred,
Everything is hurt related.
I try and clear the path of my destiny,
But everything is musty, nothing I can see.
I am this person now-the one everyone pretends to adore,
But I'm still sick of those funny looks as I walk down the corridor.
I just wish those two-faced people would stop lying!
Because inside my heart is bleeding, my feelings slowly dieing,
All my feelings are disappearing, disintegrating little by little.
Numbness left behind, causing my brain to riddle.
I ask myself these questions everyday,
And for the answers I will get down on my knees and pray!
Why cant people just accept who I am?
Why cant people just give a damn?
Instead of leaving me here, inside myself to rot,
It's not like I'm asking for a lot!
All I'm asking is for people to look inside,
Not to judge me from the outside.
They see these cuts up my arm,
Setting off crazy alarms.
Although I'm bleeding more from the heart.
I'm just tired of being messed about.
I cannot take any more pain,
It's driving me insane!
Part of the cause is memories,
And for them there are no remedies.
They play and play, over and over again in my head,
Leaving me desperately hurt whilst I sleep in my bed.
They start off small-nothing at all,
Then suddenly they make you want to go hit the wall,
And if needs be, to shoot yourself,
Or wanting nothing but death!
I feel as though there is no room left for life,
I want it to pass me by.
Because now I've realised it's too much of a struggle.
Maybe one day I'll go to sleep and never awake,
And there'll be no more living, just for the sake!

Jodie Flavell