What You Thought I Could Be

You expect something from me,
a person that everyone will see
I can't be as smart as anyone else
for I've failed your test and I’m shouting for help
I hold my tempter in my hand
like a pencil and paper writing in demand
It's the perfect treatment..
it takes on completement
The stinging pain is the only thing I can control
my mouth breaking open to say my parole
I can't explain how you've hurt me or what I’ve done to myself in words
so I’ll show you with actions, I’ll take apart these fractions
You’re above, and I’m below
i can't elope - you've earned the upper hand, now's your time to glow
I've tried my hardest to fit your standards
suicide's crossed my mind, I’m starting to meander
Friends say to stop but that's like breaking a habit
I know it should but it makes me rabid
So I've tried to tell you how I feel
maybe showing will take your appeal
I've broke down and bewailed hoping you'll take my hand
and show me that I don't need to fail
My lifestyles are changing
everything starts moving... and rearranging
Dethrone my heart, of which I own
make it yours for you to stab upon your thrown
If it makes you happy, make it bleed
maybe it'll bring ease to my agony
I'm your last option.. your hoping for me
to grow up and live my life without misery
Looks like I’ve lost it, I’m going downhill
your intentions were wrong.. I can see your guilt.
I'm the mistake, I admit everything
I’ve caused everyone pain and I’ve broken the main.
I guess I’m not what you want me to be.
But what I am.. is what you've made of me.. and that's how it'll be.

Emily