I Wonder

I want to be free,
Free of everything
that’s holding me back
Tell me that everything
Will be ok and mean it.
Don’t just tell me to make me
feel better,
Tell me it, because it’s true.
I lie here alone and wonder
If anyone can tell I will be ok
And that everything will be alright.
Wonder is the only hope I have left now.
No real hope, just wonder.
I wonder whether all the pain will stop,
I wonder if I’ll ever be truly happy,
I wonder whether or not I should give up and die.
I’m already broken,
How further do I have to drop before I find
The answers to my questions?
I know I’ve been to the bottom
But I guess I didn’t have a ‘proper look round’
As I’m still sinking back. No that’s not right…
I never left the bottom to sink back. I’m still here,
Stuck, never to leave this pathetic existence.
All I want to know is if it’ll be ok. I mean really ok
And not ok just for now, but forever ok.

Martin Lewis