Ups and Downs

High as a kite in a world full of praise
They love my voices, my feelings within
Reality on overload, not knowing what’s right or wrong
The lines are blurred, not sure on which side I sit

I’ve learnt not to trust my instinct, my gut
What I believe, what I desire, what I need
Creating a duality, a voice inside that brings me up
When things go well, when things go bad

Dropped down into the dead of night
An ocean deep, no land in sight
The blackness is as real as day
But they tell me they don’t see it that way

The things I see might not exist
And what exists isn’t always what I see
With all this crap inside my head
Is it any wonder that I wish my life away?

Up and down, weaving in and out
A game of chess my fragile mind
One I can’t win – I don’t know how
Won’t somebody show me?
Show me – please?

Rachel Studley © 2003