The Space

hollow.
empty space inside of me.
vast, black, empty abyss.
cannot be filled.
no matter how hard i try.
so i eat.
crisps, chocolate, cakes, sweets.
i eat and eat and eat.
i hate myself.
i cant stop.
i look in the mirror.
a stranger stands before me.
vast and ugly.
imprisoned in a cage of fat.
fat is evil.
run upstairs.
bend over the toilet.
stick your ugly fingers down your ugly throat.
wretch.
cry.
fat is evil.
then i'm done.
i can calm down again.
but there is a space
it has to be filled.

Lucy Kettle