The Great Divide

I’ve been in this position before. I’m not as sane as I could possibly be, but then I’m not as mad as I have been. I guess I’m somewhere in the in-between, in no-man’s land. Thinking about that has got me wondering – who gets to draw the boundaries and what makes them qualified to do so. I mean, what if the working committee that drew up the first diagnostic manual was made up of scholars with dubious mental stability. If they were mad themselves how do we know that what we now know as sanity is all it’s cracked up to be? Maybe I was right a year or so ago when I was sure it was the rest of the world that had lost the plot. Maybe we, being labelled insane, actually have the right idea. Ok – I admit it’s not very likely, and for many reasons I don’t believe it myself. Although I still don’t consider myself insane – I just think they made a mistake in making the divide so absolute.

Think of sanity as, say, the North Pole. Pretend there’s a lovely blue flag at the most northern point of the world with the words ‘I’M SO SANE’ embroidered, proudly, on it. You could be safe in the knowledge that if you stood on that exact point (balancing on the flagpole) you are completely sound of mind. Ok? Insanity, then, sets up camp at the South Pole. The flag (bright orange this time) is emblazoned with the words ‘NUTTIER THAN A VERY NUTTY THING’. Obviously if you’re crazy enough to balance on this pole you are the ultimate in insaneness. Wow – what an honour, anyone got a map?

Unfortunately, as there are so many of us vying for space in this lovely world, it’s impossible for us to all stay safely on either of the two flagpoles. Even the one or two accomplished gymnasts among us must eventually tire and topple over, joining the rest of us mortals in no-mans land. Yes you’re right, that’s a rather long-winded way of saying that both extremes are actually unachievable in real terms. Did you really expect anything else from me? If you’re not convinced of the relevancy just try to think of one person who is completely devoid of any hang-ups, neurosis, psychosis or obsession? If you can I’m impressed – answers on a postcard please. I think it’s equally difficult to pin the ‘ultimate and completely insane’ tag on anyone. In my experiences, even someone lost in the midst of psychosis generally makes some sense (if you look at things from their perspective) whether you feel comfortable admitting it or not. So what are we all left with then? I guess we’re residing in the middle ground. It’s a bit like the twilight zone of mental well-being. Oh the excitement, excuse me while I sit down and take it all in.

There. That’s better. Sorry about that.

So, if there are no absolutes, it makes sense that we’re all travelling on a sliding scale between to imaginary points. Each of us follows a different route, our own personal journey through the world of mental health. There’s no simple A to B – it’s much more flexible. While some aspects of out psyche might be sorted there are always a few that are less healthy. These aren’t fixed either – there’s a natural ebb and flow.

It makes sense when you think about it, or at least it does to me. It’s as complicated as out physical health. On Tuesday I might have a runny nose and a cough. Then 3 weeks later I twist my ankle, but my nose is much improved (yay). I’ve still got an awful cough though. Thankfully my ankle recovers, although it’s still sensitive to stress, and my cough has all but gone. Two years later I feel as fit as a fiddle, or as near as can be (I’ve felt a bit tired on occasions and, if I’m honest, my ankle’s still a bit dodgy). Seemingly out of nowhere my scalp become a bit flaky. I guess it’s back to the doctors for me.

I’m not meaning to labour the point that the health of our mind is a sensitive, ever-changing quality (although it is, you know). It’s just that it’s the product of millions of little factors, each one reliant on millions of others (and so on). It really is that complex – no one part of our psyche is separate from the rest. Whoa Nelly. It’s no wonder we haven’t progressed all that far in the study of it. It’s pretty mindblowing (if you pardon the expression). As I said before, each one of these variables is on a sliding scale between two unachievable points. Confused? I am too.

The result of this is, however, straightforward (just to make a change). We’re all part healthy and part ill, part sane and part nuts. The exact weighting of each is impossible to calculate – there are so very many variables involved. The balance of each is changing all the time, in response to lots of things (that we experience both inside and outside of our head). Sanity is based on a judgement – whether by one person or by many. In our society it’s often about deviation from the supposed norm and/or the amount of distress caused.

I’m not doubting that some of us, at this point in time, have a greater overall mental health than others. I think, however that the labelling of one person as sane and the other insane is off the mark. It’s too simplistic. Oh, and it also makes things harder for us that are currently on the less healthy end of the scale. Dealing with other peoples fixed ideas of sanity/madness is definitely a pain. Wait a minute …. Fixed idea? Not amenable to change by reasonable arguments? ….. sounds like a delusion to me. I could recommend some medication ……

Rachel Waddingham © 2002